Loving Your Christian Inner Circle
Applying all 65 “Togethers” to your closest Christian relationships
1. Grant God the highest place within your circle of Christian friends and family. In these closest of relationships, do your best to behave in a manner that gives praise and glory to God. Be very aware that you are always in His sovereign presence. Bow down your lives together before Him. See Worship God Together
2. Let God decide how you interact together and what you do together. Let God have His way. See Submit to God Together
3. Consider what Jesus Christ might be doing in the lives of your loved ones. Together you are being led by Jesus, sculpted into what He wants each of you to be. And you each are a part of the process in the others. See Together Be Led by Jesus Christ
4. Together listen to what God has to say to you through Bible study. Talk together with Him in prayer. Show your love for Him through obedience when you are together. In this way you all will be in constant communication with God, a main reason for your relationship. See Communicate with God Together
5. Whenever together, serve God as a team. Be aware of opportunities to participate in what God is doing around you in the world. These are great privileges. See Serve God Together
6. Deny yourselves often for those in your closest inner circle of family and friends — and for God’s sake. “Agape” love is self-denial for the good of others. Faith, hope and love are all eternal — and the greatest of these is love. See Love One Another
7. Keep in mind what is happening in the lives of your closest Christian friends and family. Those in your inner circle belong to you. They are a part of your life. Their hopes, dreams, opportunities and struggles are in some part also yours. See Belong to One Another
8. To a reasonable extent, devote yourself to the lives of your close Christian family members and friends. Set aside time to pray for and help them. Spend precious time with them so that they will not be lonely. See Be Devoted to One Another
9. Accept and encourage each of your inner circle to be genuinely themselves as God created them to be. Appreciate their God-given differences and praise God for His design of them. See Accept One Another
10. Bear with one another’s faults, insensitivities and quirks. Respond with grace. After all, God does the same with each of us continually. In this way, be like God. See Bear with One Another
11. Spontaneously forgive one another without requiring an apology or request. Help those closest to you to treat you better — but after you have forgiven them. Avoid with all your strength judging others and usurping God’s role. See Forgive One Another Without Being Asked
12. Bend over backward to find activities and solutions that meet everyone’s needs. If necessary, especially to be fair or for “higher purposes,” let the others have their way. See Submit to One Another
13. Always be ready to serve your closest Christian friends and relatives. They can use your help with something from time to time. Let them know you are ready when they need you. See Serve One Another
14. Identify and implement the values, desires and ways of dealing with people that, being the ways of heaven, are radically different from those of secular culture. Your relationships with your Christian friends and Christian relatives should be “heavenly” distinguishable from secular culture. Jesus tells us (as recorded in John 13:35) that the very different love of the Kingdom is the sign of His disciples to the world. See Live as Citizens of Heaven
15. Don’t let life get so busy that you have too little time for your closest friends and family members. Being together is absolutely critical to spiritual growth in Christ. But this is not just for Bible study, prayer and superficial social interaction. The instructions of the Bible, especially the New Testament, make it clear that there is much God expects us to do together as delineated by these 65 Togethers of Scripture. See Meet Together Regularly
16. Be joined together by your relationship with Jesus, even more than by friendship or blood. With that as the primary reason for your bond, nothing should separate you. Also, it is not even necessary that you always like one another. Loving is another story. See Live Together in Unity
17. When you disagree, avoid arguing. Instead, take time to dialogue until you both fully understand the other person’s viewpoint. Bring in other Christian friends and Christian relatives to help you avoid quarreling. Also, apply other applicable Togethers to keep peace. See Live Together in Peace
18. Never talk or act as though you are better than your friends and relatives. In humility consider the others a bit more important than yourself. Remember that even if you are more obedient to God, compared to His holiness you have only a slight advantage over the next person. And without humility, that edge disappears. See Be Humble with One Another
19. Take the challenge of finding out how you and your closest Christian friends and relatives can form harmonious teams to do things for the Lord. Discuss each of your distinctive contributions to the “team.” Think of yourselves as an athletic team trying to find out what sport in which to compete, or as the members of a band seeking what kind of music to play. See Live Together in Harmony
20. Practice lots of undeserved kindnesses for your closest friends and relatives. Progress toward unconditional love for each of them. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you a clear picture of how you receive kindness from God because of Jesus Christ’s death for you. Don’t even think of deserving kindness in return; your treasure awaits you in heaven. See Show Mercy and Be Compassionate with One Another
21. Periodically check to see that those in your inner circle have adequate food, clothing and shelter, including heat in winter. At some time in their lives, these things might be lacking. But they might be ashamed to tell you or ask for help. So be very observant. And let them help you when you have a need. See Meet One Another’s Needs
22. Open your home regularly for those in your inner circle. Feed and entertain them so they feel special. You never know how important this might be to those who were excluded by others at some point in childhood. See Be Hospitable with One Another
23. Treat each of your friends and relatives with equal importance and value. Of course, you will be closer to some, as Jesus was with His disciple John. But try to never be disrespectful or withhold love, no matter how you are treated. As you do this to those who like you and those who like you less, you are ultimately doing it for God. See Treat One Another Equally
24. Generously make available to those in your inner circle the possessions God has given you. Be more than passively willing; when you recognize a need, offer to let someone use something you have. The inconvenience of not having a tool or kitchen item for a few days is offset by the joy of knowing that you are acting like God, who gave you everything you have. See Share with One Another
25. Let God’s grace in the form of supernatural spiritual gifts flow through you for the benefit of your Christian friends and relatives. This is very important for what God is doing in the lives of your inner circle. Enjoy being God’s outlet. What a privilege! See Administer God’s Grace to One Another
26. Be truthful (yet helpful) to a degree not possible outside the closest of trusted relationships. Only close friends and relatives who have paid the high price of selfless love are likely to listen to one another. Only in such relationships can questions be asked and honest answers given that are helpful even when they might hurt. See Speak to One Another Truthfully and Helpfully
27. Place courage into your close Christian friends and relatives so they can do what God has asked of them. So much fails to get done because we lack courage to act as prompted by God and His Word. Probably the most important reason to get together as Christians, according to Hebrews 10:25, is to place courage into one another. This is not saying nice things to one another; it is actually fostering courage in one another. See Encourage One Another
28. Honor the victories and accomplishments of your closest Christian friends and relatives by means of compliments, celebrations and other rejoicing. Especially treat difficult accomplishments in spiritual growth as significant and worthy of joyous recognition. See Honor One Another
29. Recommend those in your inner circle to one another as well as to those they might bless in the name of our Lord. Because you are so close in relationship, you know what each of your friends and relatives has to offer. See to it that they get many chances to serve others and shine for the glory of God. See Commend One Another
30. Lovingly exhort those in your inner Christian circle to do good deeds. In some cases they are resisting, but more often they are waiting for someone to believe in them. This prodding may take multiple repetitions, and that is why this command of Scripture can best be done with your closest friends and relatives. See Spur One Another on to Love and Good Deeds
31. Share in the pain of those with whom you are close. It is almost unbearable for them to hurt alone. Let them know that you hurt because they are in pain. This is not a one-time verbal expression. You need to go with them the full distance from hurt all the way to recovery. Consider how this is an act of worship because it reflects Christ’s sharing our pain and dying on the cross. See Hurt with One Another
32. Offer comfort to those in your inner circle as life hurts them. Do something helpful that will ease the pain. Because you are close to the person, you have the best chance of knowing what is most soothing, whether that be a hug, a meal, a drive in the country, an offer to stay the night or something else. See Comfort One Another
33. Confess your sins to your inner Christian circle of friends and relatives. And make it safe for them to do the same. Unconfessed sins keep on hurting and destroying life. Healing starts with confession. This absolutely requires the proven loyalty of the closest of Christian friends and relatives. See Confess Sins to One Another
34. Help pay the consequences of sins and help correct mistakes of your closest Christian friends and relatives. Often the aftermath is just too much for them to deal with alone. This is a great privilege in that you will worship God by reflecting Jesus’ payment of the sin’s penalty. See Carry One Another’s Burdens
35. Doubt comes from time to time. As necessary, quickly do whatever you can to restore your inner circle in the faith. Because of your close relationship, you can often see doubt and lack of trust coming and can act soon to avert deterioration of faith. See Restore One Another in the Faith
36. Investigate the largely unexplored kingdom of heaven with your inner circle of Christian friends. Together find the excitement of discovering the nature of God’s kingdom and the behavior of its citizens. Together renounce the ways of your culture that conflict with your heavenly society. See Seek the Kingdom Together
37. Strive for holiness when you are together. Your fellowship can be perfect even while individuals are sinful and imperfect. Present to God the righteousness possible when two or three are together with Jesus Christ and function harmoniously. Your meetings are where He can use His different disciples to create perfect and holy “relationship moments” for the praise and glory of God. See Pursue Holiness and Perfection Together and Live together in Harmony
38. Carefully analyze the fine distinctions in the faith held by each of those in your inner circle. It is likely that no one else is close enough or together often enough to do this. Determine to grow spiritually when the Holy Spirit helps you find where faith can develop further. See Examine One Another’s Faith
39. Regularly discuss various truths from the Bible, and share with each other your understanding in order to teach one another. Don’t rest in a superficial understanding of God’s written Word. Grow together in deeper and deeper understanding of Scripture. See Teach One Another
40. Give counsel to those in your inner circle as life challenges them — when and how the Holy Spirit directs. As much as possible, base that counsel on God’s point of view. Consider what are “the ways of the world” and how your Christian friend or relative might be receiving and attracted to such counsel. See Counsel One Another
41. Live out your faith in front of your closest friends and relatives because your relationship gives you great influence. Your inner Christian circle often sees the real you, even if just subconsciously. Because your relationships are close, you have tremendous leverage on their thinking and behavior. See Disciple One Another
42. Do what you can to help those in your inner circle be obedient to their calling from God. You will often see the critical part that each of your closest Christian friends and relatives have to play in your discussions and activities, as well as in their other involvements. There is so much God wants to do through His people. Don’t let those in your inner circle miss the eternal rewards that come with obedience to their heavenly responsibilities. Go to See That Each One Does His or Her Part
43. Be there with your closest people when God’s discipline comes, as surely it will from time to time. God’s refinement of His people is likened to fire. As with Daniel’s three friends, stand in the furnace together and see to completion the work of God in each of you. See Face Discipline and Judgment Together
44. Whenever you are with your closest Christian friends and relatives, be especially aware of the needs of those outside your group who do not believe in Christ. Together be concerned for them and let them see you work together on their behalf. Be the salt of the world when you are together. See Be Salt Together in a Bland, Tasteless World
45. Help your closest friends and relatives have the wisdom of God in dealing with their secular situations. Enable them to be in the world but not of it and to face difficulties with non-Christians in supernatural love and the other fruit of the Holy Spirit. See Be Wise and Win the Respect of Outsiders
46. Take time in your fellowship with close Christian friends and relatives to pray for missionary efforts. Perhaps together you can do something that will raise money for or affirm the work and lives of specific missionaries. Don’t reserve this effort for larger Christian gatherings. See Uphold the Gospel Messengers in Joint Prayer
47. Be very aware of each person’s non-believing friends and contacts. Plan a few activities where you can invite them to examine how Christians love one another heaven’s way. Be careful not to tone down your Christianity so much that it is almost invisible. See Proclaim the Gospel and Be Light to the World Together
48. Listen carefully and pay attention to how Satan might be trying to deceive your closest Christian friends and relatives, especially by twisting the truth. The devil’s subtlety is usually noticeable only to those very close to us. When appropriate, examine scriptural truth regarding questionable teachings. See Contend for the Faith Together
49. Understand and take into your lives the armor of God described in Scripture. Notice when any one of your closest Christian friends and relatives seems unaware of the armor available for the battles of life — or of its necessity. See Arm Yourselves
50. Since you can bet your life that Satan is trying to harm those in your inner circle, keep your eyes wide open and watch each other’s back. Warn them as early as possible, because it will likely get worse. And don’t forget to advise against passivity, pushing each other to assertively resist evil. See Warn and Admonish One Another
51. Since temptation is never to be faced alone, make absolutely certain that you join the fight of each of your inner circle against the seductions they face. Even minor temptations are probably designed by the evil one to create disastrous results. See Battle Temptation Together
52. Satan will usually attack your friends when they are alone. Rush to their side and join the battle. Don’t ever let a member of your inner circle be attacked by Satan alone. The devil should have to face at least two believers. Although its better to be on the offensive against evil, we often need to be on the defensive as well. See Stand Up to the Devil at One Another’s Side
53. Put the thoughts and convictions of your inner circle to the test of solid Christian doctrine to make sure that the foundation of their lives comes from God. Dark angels are active behind the scenes in the spiritual realm to tempt and deceive. See Test the Spirits Together
54. Together with your closest friends and relatives, learn the joy of being on the offense against Satan and his demons. You and your inner circle can easily find places to fight evil. Too many Christians ignore the fact that we are to march against the gates of hell. Satan should be on the run from us! See Together Hate Evil and Defeat It
55. In your interaction with those you are closest to, take whatever risks love requires without regard for your own security or what other people will think of you. Your closest relationships will occasionally require you to lay down your life, a great privilege somewhat mirroring what Jesus did for us on the cross. See Die for One Another
56. You will need occasionally to go in and rescue one or more members of your inner circle who are actively doing the work of God. Get them out of their situation, heal them and send them back in. Following the Lord into church and secular society is not meant to be easy or risk-free. Living obediently in the faith will result in wounds for you and your friends and relatives. See Rescue and Restore One Another
57. While apart, be present with every one of your closest Christian friends and relatives by praying for them consistently. Through prayer you can walk with them wherever they go and participate in whatever they are doing. God invites you to communicate with Him on behalf of your inner circle and so take part in their long-term success and perseverance. See Pray for One Another
58. Be involved in the faith of your inner circle of friends and relatives for the long-term. Even though in our mobile society you might not be around each other until death, be there for each other as if you will be. Be faithful during that part of the race you are privileged to share. Remember that e-mail and the Internet have extended the number of years you can run the race of faith with your closest friends and relatives. See Run the Full Race Together
59. Make sure that everyone in your inner circle retains solid hope. Bad situations and disappointments threaten hope and drag Christians down. It is up to their close friends and relatives in Christ to combat this threat. See Preserve One Another’s Hope
60. Whenever those in your inner circle face really hard things, step up to help them. Obedient Christian living produces hardship. So do the trials of life. Let’s not tell our friends to rely on God without encouraging them to rely on us as well, since God himself has said in Scripture that we are part of His help. See Endure Trouble and Hardship Together
61. Help your closest friends and relatives to take hold of the truths we know from the Bible by putting it into practice. Don’t let them settle for knowing “enough” truth and coming to a standstill. Since the Greek word for the “know” that sets us free (John 8:32) is truth practiced and proven, make certain that you help your inner circle keep on trying new behaviors of faith. This will help them grow in Christ. And insist that they return the favor so you can persevere and grow as well. See Hold to the Truth Together
62. Mention to your close Christian friends and relatives how they can take better care of themselves. Many have trouble looking out for their own good and need your watchfulness — sometimes even intervention. Some actually need help feeling permission not to take on so many responsibilities. See Look Out for One Another’s Good
63. If you see any of your inner circle mistreated, speak up for them. Whenever possible, get involved when you see the first signs of possible injustice or exploitation. See Forbid Mistreatment of One Another
64. Help those in your inner circle see money in its proper perspective. Especially keep your friends and relatives from either living to make money or spending it excessively. The love of money is endemic in our affluent society, even among the poor. It is a root of much evil and must be resisted. See Keep One Another from the Love of Money
65. If any of your Christian friends or relatives seem bent on revenge, stop them. Help them depend on God to bring about justice in His time and for His purposes. Revenge is the natural response to being hurt, but we Christians have a supernatural answer — love that is fueled by God’s undeserved love for us. The Holy Spirit’s indwelling presence gives us the power to love rather than seek revenge. See Keep One Another from Revenge