1. Enjoy how your spouse has been designed by God. Especially appreciate the traits that are different from yours. In doing so, you will be praising God, who designed your spouse. (Dick’s book, Find Yourself — Give Yourself, Navpress, 1983, will give you a better grasp of this.) As a result of his or her differences, your spouse can show you enjoyment in things you never imagined interesting or fun. Just don’t expect to be as interested as he or she — it is your spouse’s “thing” and you are only along for the ride. See Accept One Another
2. Do not let those aspects of your spouse’s behavior that annoy you ruin your times together. Just as God looks past our sin to see Christ in us, brush aside irritations and enjoy the good things. This is not only spiritual growth but also a key to enjoying being in each other’s presence. See Bear with One Another
3. Be fair in the variety of your activities. Do some things you both enjoy, some things that the other enjoys, and some things you enjoy. There are plenty of things for you to enjoy together. However, let your spouse off on things he or she just really dislikes (as long as that is not almost everything you enjoy). In eternal life you will enjoy many different things from angels and different human cultures, so practice for heaven now. See Submit to One Another
4. When your spouse is in a mood or not feeling well, don’t let it negatively affect your mood. Be helpful no matter how you are treated and be like God, who does not turn from us when we discount Him. Be compassionate and do your best to be enjoyable during your spouse’s trials. See Show Mercy and Be Compassionate
5. Treat your spouse well, even if others are more enjoyable to be around at times. Do your best to enjoy being with him or her, to be courteous and kind, and try to discover enjoyable experiences to share. As for holidays, even Valentine’s Day, celebrate them in ways each one of you enjoys as well as in ways you both enjoy. See Treat One Another Equally
6. Throw some great celebrations for your spouse and let your spouse do the same for you. Find out the kind of festivities your spouse enjoys and use that knowledge for birthdays and accomplishments. If you are short on ideas, that is what you have close friends for; get their ideas. See Honor One Another
7. Clearly see the good things in your spouse that others could benefit from and enjoy. Then recommend your spouse to others as someone who is really special in those aspects of character and service. Even more critical, let your spouse know what he or she has to offer you that you are not good at and need. Ask for those things occasionally in appreciative ways. Don’t be stingy with compliments. See Commend One Another
8. Share in your spouse’s hurt when it comes. Indifference to another’s pain builds a barrier often too high to restore pleasure and amusement together. Do not need your partner to be strong all the time for you to be happy or emotionally stable. See Hurt with One Another
9. Help each other learn to enjoy the things of heaven. Enjoy all the Togethers of Scripture more than going to the movies or making money and spending it. See Seek the Kingdom Together
10. Share your knowledge with each other to make the relationship interesting. Tell each other what you know that is fascinating about creation (rocks, trees, animals, planets, stars), about people and culture, about biblical knowledge and truth, etc. During the day ask yourself, “What can I share with my spouse this evening that would be interesting?” and then look all around you as you go about the day. See Teach One Another
11. Split the responsibilities for marital and family chores as well for planning fun activities, so neither of you is lazy at the expense of the other. Each person should make his or her contribution to the marriage and to family life. Otherwise resentment and envy will ruin your good times together. Read See That Each One Does His or Her Part
12. Do some things with your spouse that you really dislike and in this way die for each other. Jesus died for us, and He did not enjoy it. So, man-up or woman-up and learn how to enjoy helping your spouse enjoy life. You don’t need to enjoy the activity; just focus on helping your spouse enjoy it. That means you can’t be miserable. During the activity, find some way to enjoy yourself, such as planning a vacation in your head while at the opera or planning a holiday menu in your head while at a sporting event. See Die for One Another
13. As you get older or as finances grow scarce, some fun things will not be possible any longer. Work together to find new things to enjoy on the path from youth to old age. Don’t grumble, but be satisfied that you were able to do those things in the past. Find different things and make them enjoyable. And look forward to heaven when you will get the chance to do many of things you could not do even when you were younger. Don’t despair — the best is yet to come and lasts forever. See Run the Full Race Together
14. Life can and will throw bad things at you, so preserve each other’s positive outlook. Guard each other’s hope by pointing out that God knows what is best for each of you and both of you together. Keep firmly in mind that this short life on earth is followed by an unending life with God that will be completely pleasurable and marvelous. This life is like the caterpillar stage of a butterfly. Soon a never-ending life will be ours. See Preserve One Another’s Hope