1. Agree that you both must speak up when something feels wrong in your marriage. Guided by self-denying agape love, speak the truth in a helpful way. Unexpressed and unsolved problems can lead to unfaithfulness. Commit to speaking truthfully and in a helpful way so that solutions can be found before disappointment, resentment and anger set in. See Speak to One Another Truthfully and Helpfully
2. Pray for your spouse’s faithfulness to God and to you and your marriage. Don’t rely on the strength of your spouse’s love for you. Satan’s scheme is to destroy your marriage, and you need God’s help and protection. See Pray for One Another
3. Together engage in many activities with your closest Christian friends, tactfully letting them know that God wants them to help watch out for your marriage. Your best insurance against unfaithfulness lies with your inner circle of Christian friends and relatives. Church gatherings, including small groups, rarely expose a Christian’s everyday behavior. But your closest friends will spot danger if they pay close enough attention to how you and your spouse get along. Check See That Each One Does His or Her Part
4. Agree to warn each other about possible temptations not easily perceived. You need your spouse’s help, because it may be difficult for you to see when some emotionally needy person is using you. You may not realize it until after an emotional affection has set in. If you’ve not yet felt or done anything you consider wrong — typically called an “affair” — you might think your spouse is just being silly or paranoid. Don’t make that assumption. On the other hand, a spouse who is constantly jealous and warning about dangers may need to seek help, because such behavior can drive you to unfaithfulness. See Warn and Admonish One Another
5. Whenever you can, battle temptation together. When you first realize you are being allured, mention right away that you need help. Do not assume that you will be strong enough to defeat temptation. King David, a “man after God’s own heart,” could not do it and instead committed adultery and murder. When the help of your spouse is not enough, then also bring in some close, trusted Christian friends. See Battle Temptation Together
6. If you see that your spouse is being tempted to be unfaithful to you, give him or her advice on how to put up a spiritual fight. Don’t rely on jealousy and interrogation. Realize that such situations will come up in a fallen world and that you might have some suggestions on how to avoid trouble. If you have no advice, find some from your inner circle of Christian friends. See Counsel One Another
7. Come before God in worship together in your home using music of the faith. In itself such closeness together with God will not necessarily prevent unfaithfulness, but home-based worship is quite incongruous with dishonoring marital vows. See Worship God Together
8. Together agree with God that divorce is to be avoided. Commit to giving God what He wants by bringing up and solving problems in the marriage right away so that unfaithful relationships do not become a lure. There will always be challenges. There will likely be someone who is attractive, or is easier to talk to, or seems to be more emotionally supportive or more fun. Submitting to God — to whom you owe your whole life — is the best way to resist these common dangers to marriage. See Submit to God Together
9. Love each other with self-denial -- the type of biblical love commanded. The command to love each other is not about affection or sexual love, important as those may be. Only self-denial (agape) will prevent behavior that could lead to unfaithfulness. Love will empower the axiom “Just say no.” See Love One Another
10. Devote yourselves to each other right away. Be dedicated to your spouse’s goals and the things of his or her heart. (You do not necessarily need to pursue these things yourself.) This will make extramarital affections less likely, since it is difficult to be devoted to the lives of two people at the same time. See Be Devoted to One Another
11. Serve each other in ways that the other appreciates most. Make yourself priceless to your spouse in the challenges of everyday life. Invaluable service almost always translates to irreplaceable. So do not rely on serving in ways that are unimportant to your spouse. Instead, ask what sort of usefulness is most cherished. See Serve One Another
12. Take your citizenship in heaven seriously, because Christians are to live in a way that’s completely different from the secular culture all around them. Evaluate everything you do to see if it is part of the world’s culture or is consistent with the ways of heaven. For example, society may deem flirting at work to be harmless, while citizens of heaven and children of God know that flirting is for one’s spouse only. Be proud of your heavenly citizenship and act like it. See Live as Citizens of Heaven
13. Meet often as a couple with small groups of close Christian friends where you can act genuine and be accountable. These small groups within your inner circle of close friends should be able to influence you and intervene if they suspect that something is going wrong in your marriage. Be sure to give them permission to watch out for the health and fidelity of your marital union. See Meet Together Regularly
14. Remember that you are to be held together by your relationship with Jesus Christ, not by shared interests, economic security or any other thing. Then, when you get bored with each other, or disagree about money, or face some other threat to your relationship, you will remember that what really holds you together is your relationship with God. Thus, while you might have problems to face, your union is not threatened; you are united in Christ. See Live Together in Unity
15. Be sure to meet your spouse’s needs for attention and sexual satisfaction. If the need seems exaggerated, you should talk this over together with a close, trusted Christian couple or a professional counselor. Help each other know what brings sexual satisfaction and discuss whether it is godly. Work at being romantic, if that does not come naturally. Be attractive to your spouse and don’t forget to offer compliments. See Meet One Another’s Needs
16. Make sure things are fair in your relationship and that neither of you gets more privileges. Ask about the other person’s needs and speak up for your own (your spouse should not have to guess). By treating each other equally, you avoid resentment. See Treat One Another Equally
17. Help each other be all that you can be for God, loving people through good deeds. This should make you irreplaceable. Doing good things together for God’s glory is tremendously rewarding and should inhibit anything that might destroy the unity you have with your spouse. See Spur One Another on to Love and Good Deeds
18. Get in the habit of confessing your sins to each other for the sake of prayer and forgiveness. Make it a way of life, as it should be in God’s kingdom. Then it will be easier, for example, to admit that you caught yourself flirting. This makes early intervention and prevention of marital unfaithfulness possible. See Confess Sins to One Another
19. If and when your spouse’s faith waivers, see that all is done to restore him or her in the faith. This may require the effort of other Christians, but it must be done to keep the marriage strong. Because of the closeness of your relationship, you may know what things can deliver a blow to your spouse’s faith. Be on the watch and discuss scriptural truth that can counteract such an attack on his or her faith. Share Bible knowledge, pray, get the input of other Christians you are close to, ask questions that produce constructive thought, etc. See Restore One Another in the Faith
20. Realize that your marriage can approach perfection in ways neither of you alone can accomplish. Counteract each other's unrighteousness with your own obedience. If you and your spouse do not stumble in the same way, one will be strong enough to hold the other up. For example, if one of you is out of sorts and argumentative, the other can just refuse to argue. Thus a quarrel will be avoided. See Pursue Holiness and Perfection Together
21. Be aware of each other’s spiritual health and bring in whatever is necessary to bolster areas where faith is weak. Listen beyond the words to learn if your spouse’s faith is strong in the area you are discussing. Husbands and wives should not be caught by surprise when the faith of one person stumbles. See Examine One Another’s Faith
22. Fight together the right enemy -- and that enemy is Satan, not another woman or man. The devil has creatively designed cultures that provoke and enable sin, especially sexual sin. Together you can be strong enough in most cases to submit to God and resist the devil. But when not, bring in other Christians. If we belong to God, we are at war, and certainly not against each other if we walk with Christ. See Stand Up to the Devil at One Another’s Side
23. Die to selfish desires for the sake of Jesus as well as for your spouse. Sin should have no hold on you since you became a new creature in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17). Even when certain desires of your spouse cause you pain, do not feel sorry for yourself as much as lend your support. It is not easy for any of us to let go of some sins and sinful desires. After your spouse has died to some attractive sin, help your spouse with his or her mourning process. See Die for One Another
24. If your spouse ever, God forbid, leaves the faith or acts as though that has occurred, do all you can to rescue him or her. Do not just be understanding. Bring others in whether your spouse appreciates it or not. Treat it as a life-and-death situation while still trusting God. When objections are raised, relate how scared you are for him or her. Don’t emphasize your own fear for yourself except in prayer with God. Also, explain that you have no choice but to try to rescue because of your great love for him or her and for God. See Rescue and Restore One Another