Raising a Family
Making Family Life Enjoyable and Responsible
Please read our article “How to Lead the Family as a Family”
Making Family Life Enjoyable and Responsible
Please read our article “How to Lead the Family as a Family”
1. All family members need to be devoted to all other family members — their happiness, safety, personal goals, success at school or work, their spiritual growth, their success in family responsibilities, etc. They should learn to encourage, cheer on, affirm and sometimes even lend a hand. No one should be lonely. And competition should be limited only to fun activities. See Be Devoted to One Another
2. Everyone in the family should get what they want once in a while. Family members can learn to let others have their way, not all the time, but on a regular basis. Strive to find solutions where everyone’s needs are met. In a family, over a period of time, everybody should get their way equally — as long as everyone is being reasonable and has a good attitude. It is the family’s responsibility to see that no one takes advantage of others. See Submit to One Another
3. As a family team, find the joy in serving God often. Look for opportunities for your whole family to bless someone. Someone in your neighborhood, in your church, at school or at work can use your family’s help. Make sure your family realizes that it is serving God first and the recipient second. See Serve God Together
4. Every family member should deny himself or herself for every other person in the family at least once a month. Parents can teach that the type of love taught in the Bible is agape love, which is self-denial for another’s good. Then parents should watch to see that everyone is learning the satisfaction of loving in this way. (Check out the suggested Excellent Family Member Award.) See Love One Another
5. All family members should accept and appreciate every other family member. In Christian families, everyone knows that God is the Creator and that He has designed every family member to be unique. Learn to enjoy one another’s differences and don’t let anyone be ridiculed or ignored. Allow each family member to be the person God created him or her to be. Find good in differences. See Accept One Another
6. Family members should often overlook one another’s irritable behaviors, not making a big deal of each other’s sins in order to feel superior. Everyone in the family needs to put up with one another and be gracious, because we are all great sinners. This does not mean that destructive behavior should not be addressed. It should be, but without any form of judgment. The family can learn to see objectionable behavior as spotlighting things that need to be taught to address the problems that cause the behaviors. See Bear with One Another
7. All family members are to do some service regularly for the whole family as well as for every other family member. Family meetings can make this happen by giving anyone a chance to say he or she could use a little help. Parents want to develop a servant attitude in themselves and all the children. If kids in a family can serve brothers and sisters, they usually will help others. See Serve One Another
8. Avoid quarreling by solving bigger problems as a family team rather than relying just on parent-child interaction. As a family, help one another not make issues out of small things. A peaceful family is secure and more enjoyable. Problems hardly ever have to be solved immediately. Make time for the whole family to get involved in solving problems. Do so and build a stronger family. See Live Together in Peace
9. Usually, work well as a family collectively and thus become the small yet very powerful social system that God designed your family to be. Working in harmony, discover how much more can be done than in the usual Christian family that operates more individually. Everyone in the family has been uniquely designed by God and has his or her own contribution to make to the family’s success — if parents will allow collaborative action. See Live Together in Harmony
10. All families members need to treat everyone else in the family better than they deserve. Everyone needs to be generous with mercy, which is unmerited favor and unconditional love. Care for one another deeply, loving sincerely from the heart. Treat family members with compassion when they have to do something they are not good at. See Show Mercy and Be Compassionate
11. A Christian family should have the goal of making sure every family member gets equal age-appropriate privileges and chores. When one family member forfeits a privilege because of bad behavior, the family should do whatever they can to help that family member so that privileges are not lost in the future. And, while it is natural to have favorites or to be closer to some siblings than others, call on the supernatural fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23) not to let anyone be unpopular or left out and lonely. See Treat One Another Equally
12. Share your possessions with each other as needed. Take care to keep anything borrowed in good condition. Decide as a family what types of things should not be shared and why. Help anyone who does not take care of their own things or the things of others turn this around before having the privilege of using someone else’s things. See Share with One Another
13. Throw great celebrations for family members who accomplish something important. Make everyone feel special on his or her birthday. Help everyone in the family take part in honoring a family member. See Honor One Another
14. Everyone in the family should feel bad when one person is feeling pain, physical or emotional. No one should have to hurt alone. As a family, find out which family members are good at this and put them to work teaching everyone else. See Hurt with One Another
15. The family as a whole and individual members need to soothe life’s disappointments and deep hurts. Until the family has patiently and adequately comforted a family member, it should not offer advice. Comforting behaviors that may sustain might be: (a) just being with the person, (b) hugging, (c) letting the person know that he or she is not alone and that you will be there as long as needed, and (d) reassuring your family member that God is in control. See Comfort One Another
16. When parents are building the family rather than just individuals in it, family members will all contribute to get the work of the family done. Most often, things handled the very best will be the results of team action with different contributions from various family members. The strong and healthy family works together to see that each member makes his or her contributions. Read See That Each One Does His or Her Part
17. It is the family’s responsibility to pray for missionaries. Perhaps another missionary family could be adopted by your family. Or it might be possible for a missionary to give you a family he or she is working with in a different country to pray for and perhaps communicate with and help. Maybe each family member could bring to the family “their own” missionary for joint family prayer. See Uphold the Gospel Messengers in Joint Prayer
18. Make life better for non-believing family, friends, relatives, neighbors and other people known by family members. Demonstrate mercy. Work together as a family to, in God's power, alleviate human misery someplace. See Be Salt Together in a Bland, Tasteless World
19. Together show your community of friends, relatives and neighbors how you love one another uniquely in your family because of Jesus Christ, the true Light of the world. Your love for one another is to be so much like the love of Christ that others will recognize that you know Jesus personally. (See John 13:35.) Discuss at a family meeting what kinds of love others might see in your family that will mark you as disciples of Jesus and make them curious about new life in Christ. (Consider the list of the 65 Togethers.) As a family discuss how to explain salvation through Jesus Christ. See Proclaim the Gospel and Be Light
20. Constantly pray for perseverance and steadfast faith in every family member as well as in the family as a whole. Also, take the concerns of various family members to God for help. Prayer is not easy for everyone, so discuss as a family what would make it easier for each of you to pray more. Set a time or system wherein family members can make their prayer needs known to the whole family. See Pray for One Another
21. Make sure that every family member’s hope is strong. And when someone’s hope is threatened by difficulties, let the family’s total hope prevail. Reassure others of God’s sovereignty, His steadfast love, His past deliverances and His wonderful plans for each person’s future. Remind all of how present difficulties can be good for us even though the benefit might not be known or come soon. See Preserve One Another’s Hope
22. Practice truth together as a family. Keep trying out newly discovered truth, stepping farther out than ever before to secure applied and, thus, proven truth. Strong beliefs are lived out more and more, not less and less. It is a long, steadfast relationship with the truth that will set us free from so many burdensome things. Over years and years, keep encouraging one another to put truth into action. See Hold to the Truth Together
23. As a family, be on the watch to make sure family members do not hurt themselves with overwork, too many commitments, dangerous relationships and many other snares of life. Look closely at each other’s life and identify any lurking or present dangers. We fall into traps of our own making all the time. Use each other to lay plans to avoid pitfalls. Keep each other safe. See Look Out for One Another’s Good
24. Allow no injustices within your family. Face unfairness and defeat it. Do not judge each other. Find out if any family member is being mistreated or feels he or she is being mistreated in the family. Evaluate the situation as a family to decide what the problem is and what can be done about it. See Forbid Mistreatment of One Another